Sunday, December 6, 2015

Chapter 9 Why are Children Mean to Each Other?

Some children are modeling what they see at home. Do they have siblings who tease and pick on them? Are they bullied at home? Or, at school? And now they are taking it out on another child because they feel like they cannot do anything about their own situation?
Sometimes physical actions are a result of emotional turmoil. These reactions can manifest as being mean to other children, becoming bossy, or becoming withdrawn or needy. They may see a parent favoring a sibling and therefore take out their agitation on that sibling. Some children are treated poorly by an adult and have learned that this is an appropriate way to act. If a parent yells and screams at you, there is a good chance that you will yell and scream at someone else. This learned behavior can take a very long time to change especially if the behavior of the adult does not change.
A spoiled child may believe that he or she is entitled to something that another child has and will take it from the other child. This could be because they were never taught to share, or because the adults did not set boundaries. If an adult allows a child to play with anything they want and take things from the adult to play with, a child will believe that this is the way to act with other children. If you allow a child to take your phone and play with it, you cannot be surprised when they then take someone else’s toy to play with. If you allow a child to your hair, you cannot be surprised when they pull grandpa’s beard. There needs to be boundaries and rules set for children to become productive adults.
They need to learn that life is not always equal. Equal does not mean Fair. While it may be equal to give two children the same toy, it is not necessarily fair. If I give one niece a doll and another a toy truck, it is not equal. However it is fair because each got something that they will enjoy. The one with the truck might not like dolls and vice versa. This is something that takes a lot of time and patience to teach.

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